It seems like just about everyone I know is afraid to move. The majority of people I know have either never moved from the state where they were born, or moved when they were so little, they don’t remember living in a different place. I know people who have never even left the city, neighborhood, or HOUSE they grew up in.

People whom have never even been OUT of their hometown for a vacation!!!!!

These same people claim to have the best lives, even claiming to have it better than other states. The question always arises in me, however, how do you know this?

As a woman who has lived in five different states (four that I remember) I seem to have gained a bit of experience throughout the years. Not only have I lived in five DIFFERENT states; I have also MOVED in those states, accumulating too many cities lived in to remember or care. Therefore, the task of moving and starting a new life somewhere else has never been a big deal to me. I’ve always had either my family or friends to start this new adventure with, so I’ve never had to deal with feeling alone. When I was a child and we would move my brother and sister were always there for me to play with. When I became a young adult, some friends and I decided to move to a different state for a new start. Now that I am married with my own family, I have my husband to turn to, or go out with and RELY upon for any lonely feeling I may have.

Does this mean I never feel lonely, or miss the family and friends that have been left behind? Of course not! It can be hard finding new friends that you can click with or groups that you feel comfortable in, but only if you allow it to be. If you can approach moving and starting a new life with open arms, it may not only be a new life, but a BETTER life. Here are a few simple rules to live by when moving to make it the best it can become.

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Rule #1 – Research, research, research

We moved from our home state almost two years ago. The economy in AZ was terrible, and worst of all, completely unreliable. After 2 years of my husband having to jump from job to job due to local businesses closing, (and 2 years of me applying him for a permanent job) we finally got lucky and he got a job working civil service. Although, we had vacationed all over California, we had never been to the part where we would be moving. I literally spent EVERY free minute night and day researching. What was the weather like, average income, price of living? Where would the safest neighborhood be to live? What’s the best city in the area to live in? The only way to find this stuff out is to do your research. If you research enough, you’ll find surprises are few and far between for you. A fact that will make your life less stressful and more enjoyable.

I knew a girl a few years back when I lived in Arizona that had recently moved there from New York. From the fist time I met and talked to her about AZ, she was complaining about it. “Everything is so spaced out here, it’s so hard to get around” was one of them. “It’s so hot here!” was another. “I love to climb mountains and there are just no good ones around here.” was yet another. Uhhhhhh – did you do ANY research about Arizona before you moved here??? lololol SERIOUSLY!!!!

It does take over an hour to drive from one side of Phoenix to the other, so ya, spaced out would be correct. And complaining about the heat in AZ, REALLY?!?!? It’s HOT???? Ya, it’s called Arizona, and it’s a part of the desert!!!
Who doesn’t know these things!?!! Then saying there is nowhere to mountain climb- are you BLIND?????? There’s pretty much NO part of Phoenix (or surrounding cities/towns) where you cannot do a complete turn and see mountains on all sides! Needless to say, she didn’t stay in AZ; I believe she left after only two months. This is a prime example of one of my favorite sayings – People see only what they WANT to see!!!!

Rule #2 – THIS ISN’T KANSAS ANYMORE TOTO!!!!

You can never move to a new place (especially a new state) if you are expecting it to be JUST like your old state, because it’s NOT your old state, it’s a DIFFERENT state. I see and hear people doing this all the time, and complaining that “I can’t do this here!”, “I can’t believe you don’t have this here!!”,or my personal favorite – “In KANSAS, we”…….

Listen, nobody in New York, Colorado or anywhere else (besides Kansas, or WHEREVER you just moved from) cares about when, what or how you did things before. . Besides, if your dwelling in the past and what you used to have, used to do, used to love,used to go, then that’s where you focus is, the past. Instead of expecting it to be the same, why don’t YOU focus on the different aspects of your new environment that you LOVE instead of despise. Why not try to venture into new places that you’ve found close by that look interesting and fun. Find new places to go, new things to do, new things to love, and you just may find yourself happy!

Rule #3 – You can’t expect to make a NEW place your PERMANENT HOME, if you don’t give it some time!

I have known QUITE a FEW people whom have actually gotten up the nerve to move to another state for a new life. Yet, after only living in that new place for a few weeks to months start complaining about how it’s just NOT HOME! Of course it’s not HOME you moved remember? We’re back to excepting things to be the same. You HAVE to give yourself TIME to adjust when moving. You have to find a new job and deal with the new policies/schedules/headaches that come with it. You have to find a new school/gymnastics/volleyball place for your kids to attend and adjust to. You have to find locations for a new bank/grocery store/doctor’s office/restaurant and HOPE you don’t get lost doing it. And hardest of all, finding new friends and companions in which to fill your spare time and have some fun. These are all very stressful situations.

The truth is it will take time, sometimes longer than expected to settle in. You should give yourself a SET amount of time in a new place before deciding to leave. Six weeks or even six months in a new place is not enough time to work through all the stresses of starting a new life, let alone being able to enjoy it! As stated before, we moved to a new state almost two years ago,and it certainly hasn’t been easy. We moved here with two kids,who were leaving the only state they ever called home. We left not only our friends behind, but our family (whom we are extremely close with) as well. We’ve lost family and weren’t able to make it back home to say goodbye. We’ve missed holidays, births and birthdays. We have missed out on a lot. My kids are in middle school and adjusting to new friends at that age, can be both difficult and scary. Regardless, the kids approach moving and starting over the same way as my husband and I. We thought we were happy before we moved here, but strangely enough, have become happier. Both kids have made closer friends here, than they ever did in Arizona, and because I don’t have to worry any longer about them having a heat stroke, they are allowed to walk home from school, which makes them feel very independent. My husband and I have also made closer friends here,in less than two years, than we ever made (besides the ones we brought with us) in our fourteen years of living in AZ. We feel as though we are in a much safer, tight knit, friendly, look out for each other community as well. So, while we may have missed out in one area, we have more than made up for in another! We couldn’t be happier!!!

If your life is not working, maybe a new place could be just what you need. With the economy as it is today, good jobs are almost impossible to find. If you can’t find a job where you live, it’s time to be looking elsewhere. I’ve known people who have lost marriages because while their spouse took a new job elsewhere to improve their lives, they were too afraid to do the same. This is not only devastating, but childish. If you love your family, there should be NOTHING your not willing to do for them or NOWHERE your NOT willing to go for a better life for them!

You do NOT have to live in the same town with the same friends your entire life!!! If you’ve never lived anywhere but one place, you have NO IDEA what is really out there! I’m not saying you should pick up and leave the life you have, but don’t be AFRAID to do it either! Try to remember, the place your moving FROM, isn’t going anywhere, you can ALWAYS go back to the same life, same friends, same conversations you‘ve had a million times before. OR you can take a chance and try a change. So, next time opportunity comes along, take the challenge and set yourself free to become the person you are truly meant to be!!!!

 

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