We’ve all heard our entire lives that there is no sex after marriage. People will go on and on about their incredibly active sex lives before marriage, and yet in the same breath, complain about their nonexistent sex life after marriage.  Why is this so? We’ve all heard the reasons: too tired from working, too busy with kids, not enough time in the day. But are any of these reasons really the reason? I’m not buying it!

We’ve been told women don’t like sex as much as men, that men want it all the time, and yet women do not. Well, being a woman, and having had women as friends my entire life, I can testify that this is absolutely untrue!! Women can be just as promiscuous, if not more so, then men!! I know quite a few women who embody this exact behavior, no MATTER their age! So, if women enjoy sex as much as men, why are they not having it with their husbands?

  If women don’t like sex as much as men, then why was Magic Mike such a success at the movies, and why were those Fifty Shades of Grey books so popular that they are now being made into a movie? Well I’ve never seen or read either. WHY? Because I’d rather have sex with my husband then fantasize about some man in a movie or book! But why do other women not feel the same? Just about every other woman I know is chomping at the bit to watch the movie version of FSOG, yet these same women are unhappy with their own sex lives.

 As a wife and mother, who has been both a stay at home mom and a mom who works full time, I’ve found none of these are legitimate reasons to not be having sex with your spouse. Unless, he’s just really bad, then I never would have married him in the first place!!! lol
While I am certainly NOT going to go into mine & my husbands sex lives, I can say, that after 16 years together (and 14 of marriage) there have LESS than a HANDFUL of times I have said no to my husband. Why? Well, I ACTUALLY enjoy having sex with my him!! SHOCKING, I know!!!!!!! Am I always in the mood? Of course not!! Is ANYONE? No. Yet, I heard years ago, that even if your not in the mood, you s
hould do it anyway. Why? Because it’s SEX!!!!!!!!! A few minutes into it, and your mood SHOULD change! 

  After having this discussion with numerous women, I have come to find most women are not having sex with their husbands, because they DON’T enjoy it any longer, IF they ever did. Because, when talking to these women, I have found  a lot of them have never enjoyed sex with their husband, even before they were married. WHAT??? Then why in the hell would you marry him???? The biggest complaint – it’s too QUICK!!!!! Women will sacrifice their happiness with sex, for a trade off, of having a man by their side. This is completely depressing!!!! If you don’t enjoy sex with your man before your married, why would it change after your married to him? 

 The biggest reason I have found is sexual incompatability. If your man wants to have sex (BEFORE your married) 5 times a day, and you only want to have sex 3 times a week, you are sexually incompatible. If he wants to have sex for 5 minutes, and you want to have sex for an hour, you are NOT sexually compatible! You should NOT be marrying someone whom you are NOT sexually compatible with!!!! Otherwise, you are going to spend the rest of your relationship with them being sexually frustrated!

  So, how do we solve this problem? Well, you should absolutely consider this BEFORE marriage. If your already married, you always have time to change things. Try having sex when you don’t want to, maybe you’ll ENJOY yourself! If your husband only last a few minutes, well try some new things. It MAY just work wonders!!! If he can provide you with some proper foreplay, maybe his 3 minutes won’t matter anymore, because you’ve enjoyed yourself as well! And most of all, QUIT being such a PRUDE, it’s sex, it’s supposed to FUN!!!!!!!!!! I hope this brings more heat to your sheets!!!!!!!!!

~Her Reality Check!~