Growing up, I was not afraid to speak my mind. No matter who it was, if I didn’t like you, you knew. I don’t need to go into every detail about the immature unnecessary thing I said and did, but to sum it up quickly; I was a bit of an asshole.
Why do I say this? Well, over the past 15 years I have done a LOT of growing. After I became married and before I had children I realized I had to do something about my emotional outburst. What would I be teaching my children if this is the way I was behaving? More importantly, if I had a hard time controlling my physical actions against my husband or others, how would I be able to control myself around my children? These were questions I was very fearful of, and refused to continue living that way.

I’ll never forget talking to a friend on the phone one day and she was rambling on at how she was upset with someone else over something silly. All of a sudden, she began yelling over the matter. I immediately thought, “WHOA, is this how I sound?” And was just as quickly embarrassed for my friend’s behavior. A behavior I myself had exhibited many times. I decided to never allow myself become that person again…………or at least TRY.

I therefore began reading all kinds of Spiritual books and began working through steps to stop myself from being such an angry person. Biggest realization, I felt challenge as a challenge to see how mad I could get and prove to my opponent I could get madder and badder than they could. Very stupid, I know. That’s what growing up is though. Getting rid of childish behaviors and replacing them with adult behaviors is part of the process.

Now, 15 years later, I still have many issues. I still am not perfect, and don’t expect to EVER be! I am however, not the person I used to be. Now, I am still going to speak my mind, because that’s who I am. I will still be the first person to step up and speak up, but I am no longer an asshole. Of course, that is a matter of opinion, and you’ll get a different answer according to who you ask, but it’s still true. According to me anyway, and I’m the one doing the writing. 😉 lol

My proof of this however, is working with people for YEARS who think I am the NICEST person they know. WHY? Because, I’m working. If I don’t like you, you don’t know…..I treat everyone the same. I am always smiling, kind and helpful. Not that I’m NOT like this in my everyday life, but in my earlier days, I wasn’t nice to fellow employees if I disliked them. I will also now help people in stores, public, wherever with whatever. It’s just being nice. NOT who I used to be – unless of course I knew and LIKED you!!! 😉

Over these past 15 years, I have given many things up for my children. I have NO WHERE near as many friends as I used to have, because, well – people are crazy! I have tried to keep my kids away from people whom exhibit such behaviors. Which, of course, means not letting many people in.

I don’t drink NEARLY as much as I’d like to!!! And NOWHERE near what I used to!! Lol – It’s too hard dealing with kids the next day with the death-like feeling that now comes with a hangover! :0

Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT complaining. My husband is my BEST friend, so it’s not like I’ve really missed out on anything. The older I get, the more I find people’s perspectives and beliefs change as well, and have found most friends tend to grow apart as they get older anyway! While, mine & my husband’s views have slightly changed, they tend to stay the same as the other’s. Throughout the years, the things we give up or take up tend to change as well.

When I started college, I began investing in my health as well. I would walk five miles to school and back, PLUS do an aerobics class or two throughout the day. I wanted to ensure when I DID have kids I’d be in good shape, for both them AND myself! Since then I have maintained my exercise routines. I will either do cardio, weights, whatever five times a week for 40 – 80 minutes, and do these exercise from HOME and absolutely LOVE it!!!!

HOWEVER, anyone who KNOWS me well knows that I have always DESPISED running. Yet, recently, I have been trying to get my kids into enjoying it. They have tried just about EVERY other sport, so I figured they should give track a try. We don’t live in a 4 million people city anymore, so finding classes for them to join isn’t always an option. And asking two middle-schoolers to give up their Friday nights to go to track practice, which is all I have been able to find, is an absolute losing battle!!!! Lol – and I can’t blame them. Their kids, who should be enjoying every minute of childhood they can…….and it’s FRIDAY!!!!! Lol – the day that EVERYONE looks forward to!!!

Needless to say, we parent’s know, the BEST way to get your child(ren) to do anything, is for you to model it to them. Therefore, I have SUCKED it up and began running with them. Even decided we would enter a 5k to get them even more motivated. Now, WHEN this 5k will be, is another question, but were planning on doing it – even got the husband involved.

 

kaedin

So, what will we not DO for our children? NOTHING, I hope!! Learn to learn from them. Take them places, show them things, allow them to blossom into the beautiful person they were meant to be. Do not be SELFISH!!! Do NOT forget what it was like to be a child, and how MUCH the LITTLE things meant to you. They will be out of your house in the blink of an eye, so try to savor every minute you have with them. For, before too long, we will only have to do for ourselves…………and how boring will that be!!!!

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