By now everyone knows the ‘Teen Moms and’ everyone has their OWN opinion of them. However, a new study released the past few days show they may have been doing more good than ANY of us thought. It doesn’t surprise me however, because YES, I DO watch the show. I have watched it ever since the first 16 and Pregnant show came on………..WITH my daughter!
I have also found it to be incredibly accurate as to how teens behave as teens, significant others AND parents.
I have heard SO many people put these poor girls down, and frankly, I think most of the people putting them down are parents who have forgotten what it was like to be a teen. While, I was NOT a teen mother, I did have plenty of friends who were. I’m pretty sure none of them want to admit this either, but I do not know of ONE of them that did a good job (as a TEEN).
EVERY one of them were in relationships that were back and forth with the baby daddy, EVERY one of them subjected their kids to parties (or situations) that they should NOT have been to, and sadly to say, some of them just walked away leaving their parents to deal with and raise their grandchild.

TM1

Before this upsets some of you who may have been in that situation, let me say, I am NOT judging you. Honestly, I could care less how you’ve raised your child, it’s your issue (or not) to deal with. What I AM saying, however, is this is WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TEENS HAVE babies!!!
Teenagers are NOT responsible enough to be teaching an infant morals, values and standards. Especially, when they don’t know them themselves because they are a teen trying to figure out WHO they are and HOW they want to behave. A factor MOST OF US are lucky to know by the age of 25. But as a teen, you can forget it. The most important thing to teenagers is their friends. Including, of course, a boyfriend or girlfriend if they have one.

One of the teens, for instance, was arrested for beating up her boyfriend while being taped for the show. I have heard ‘Amber” put down by just about everyone who watches the show, or has just herd about her antics. I for one, am NOT one to throw stones at a teenager who can’t control their emotions. WHY? Well, I WAS that teen.
I was always looking for a reason to put someone in their place when I was a teenager, either verbally OR physically….DIDN’T matter to me! So, yes, I sadly hit, kicked, punched and pushed boyfriends I had. In fact, I never stopped this terrible behavior until I was about 23 and was told by my husband now, that if I ever hit him again he would leave me. THAT was my wake up call!!

Amber has obviously lived a tormented life, and has a lot of anger issues. However, I don’t feel she should be persecuted for this UNLESS she doesn’t change. Which, after entering prison and has now turned 24, seems to be doing. We of course shall see, because unless, of course, she deals with her issues, she will never be a fit parent. Teenager or NOT!

TM2

If you watch the show, it becomes obvious as to why the majority of the girls end up pregnant. Most of them are from unhappy, unstable homes. Most of the girls didn’t have a dad around to help raise then, and if they did then they were spoiled relentlessly by their parents, never learning repercussions to their actions. Or, their parents didn’t believe in getting them on birth control because they were afraid it would give them permission to have sex.

As stated before, my daughter and I both watch the show. We used to watch it together every week, but now as she’s gotten older we don’t always get that time together anymore. We do however, always talk about the girls and goings on of the show. Why do I do this?

Well, for one, I want my daughter to know she can come to me with any questions she may have on any subject. Yet, just because your child knows they can do this doesn’t mean they will. All people are different when it comes to what they are comfortable in discussing with other people about their personal lives. Therefore, I don’t expect my children to tell me everything they are thinking. I do however, expect them to know that IF they want to, then they can.

I also, want my children to know about sex before they get there.
I want them to know that IF they have sex, even once, they CAN get pregnant.
I want them to know how hard it is for the girls who decide to become teen moms. How it puts their lives on hold, both socially and educationally.
I want them to know that 99% of the time, the boy walks away, leaving the mother to raise the child without them.
I want them to know 99% of teenage relationships do NOT last because we don’t know WHAT we want as teens, both from ourselves and others.
I want them to know sex is a natural part of life, and they should not be ashamed of themselves because they either want to do it, or are doing it.
I want them to know, that I KNOW, one day they will decide to have sex, and I’m ok with that. However………..
I want them PREPARED!!!

That is why we watch this show. I do NOT want my child becoming a teen parent. I do NOT want my grandchild to then go through the same problems. Because another statistic we don’t like to hear about, is teen mothers end up raising MORE teen mothers. The chain needs to be broken.

So, before you put down the show that you’ve never watched because these girls are on tv, maybe you should stop to watch the show with your daughter.
Maybe this would be a good time to start a dialogue with your child about love, sex and relationships. Because no matter what you think, or how you may feel, your child will be ready to have sex at some point. So, have your child ready. As ready as you can anyway. Watch the show with them so they can see the reality of what goes on in these torrential relationships. Let them see how hard these girls struggle with a baby, no friends and no boyfriend. Talk to them about what you see going on and relate it to people you know who went through the same thing.

TM

Why? Because statistics show it’s WORKING. Teen pregnancy rates have lowered every year since the shows have become popular. In fact, over the past 4 years, it has dropped 7.5% to be exact. While we may not like the fact that our kids look to tv for fads, and ideas on how to live their lives. The truth is they do. Embrace it, don’t fight it. Show them that you DO remember what it was like to be a kid.
And for all YOUR sakes, PUT THEM ON BIRTH CONTROL! It’s not going to permit them to have all the sex they want. If they want to have sex, their going to do it, WITH or WITHOUT birth control. It may however, STOP them from making a life changing decision WAY too early in life.